centered

i spent a good amount of time tonight/this morning thinking, contemplating and realizing the sort of "denial" I've been living in, and i have found myself re-centering my focuses, my way of thinking, my attitude and my life for the most part. I've realized tonight that you cannot change the past, and i know that's an obvious realization, but even though we all know its impossible to go back in time, i think everyone spends a good part of their weeks, or at least a portion of it, wondering "what if", or wanting to change something or another. I've been clinging to what my life used to be like, and the person i was then but tonight it really hit hard, that i'm a different person now then i was six months ago, and my life is immensely different then it has been in years, and i need to embrace that. i have a good life here, not that it wasn't good before, its just different. i actually enjoy my job now (with the small exception of certain customers), and i'm good at it; i have family here that i get to see now that i didn't before, and things are going in a good direction, but lately instead of enjoying my success here I've found myself in a bit of a funk, missing back "home" more so than normal and questioning my decision to leave. but while evaluating what's happened in the last six months, i realized that i need to stop doubting and just trust that things are going to work out. so i'm letting go of the past and i am going to start enjoying my life now, instead of living in question of my decision. this is my fresh start and i'm going to make the most of it

new year, new places, new me

so, it's been awhile. and a lot has happened in the last eight months. i had a "early-life" crisis i guess you could call it, which all began with a mere vacation and ended with moving 1000 miles away from everyone and everything i knew; let me tell you, it wasn't the worst decision i've made in my now twenty years of life. and as i reflect back on the past year, and re-read the blogs i have post since i started this habit 13 months ago, my life has definitely changed. i'm now in a new place, both in my life and where i'm living, i now surround myself with new people, and my outlook on life is much different. and as i love it here, away from the drama of back home and in a new place, i can't help but miss the people i call family back home. i get to visit in exactly 56 days and i couldn't be more excited about anything. and as i think to what i want this new year to have in store for me, i can't help but wonder what crazy things i will fill my days with. i have no idea what the future holds for me, whether it be here, or possibly somewhere else, only time will tell but for now, i'm enjoying the ride and taking everything as it comes. here's to a new year of memories and amazing times...